Not-Alice arrived first, chipper and optimistic as she always was. Alice arrived second, and I wondered why I even invited her. She was pessimistic and critical, repeatedly saying I looked like a man in a dress. What a jealous bitch. I was supposed to look like a man in a dress; that’s why Jasper fell in love with me.
As I spun around the room, the thing at the bottom of my dress—you know the part that’s below the waist and makes it a dress. I’m a guy now, remember? I’m not supposed to know what this stuff is called—anyway, I swept the long skirt up as I twirled around the room. The rest of this chapter is about the dress, by the way.
It was a beautiful and awesome, and I looked, like, super cute in it. It was saffron, so that I’d pop out of a crowd. The skirt was gauzy and light. You could also see my Hello Kitty panties and my man penis straining against them through the gossamer fabric.
It was made of something really soft, like silk or something, and had a plunging neckline that showed off my sternum bush.
Did I mention that I looked beautiful in it? Because I did, no lying. I was stunning. Hollywood celebrities were lined up for miles asking how I was able to be so beautiful. Someone suggested they should re-make every movie ever made, and I should star in all of them. Julia Roberts was outside crying about how I was a prettier woman.
Also the bodice was nice and thin, so you could see my hairy man nipples through it, too. I looked like a slut, but the good kind of slut that friends say, not the bad kind that jealous haters like Alice say.
And that’s when he arrived…!
A/N: So didn’t Bella look, like, so super cute? *dreamy sigh* And who’s at the door, I wonder? *squeals like a second-grader* Like, OMG!