13 comments on “A Forgettable Pair Chapter 1

  1. I discovered your work through a re-blog; I’m so glad I did. After reading your editorials and reviews, I can’t resist thanking you for sharing your sense of humour. It is unusual to find writing that has me laughing out loud–I love it.
    You are my new guilty pleasure!

  2. Is it wrong that the *poop joke* made me laugh the hardest?
    Of course, I have a 14 year old son, poop jokes are quite common in my house. And really, use a thesaurus, people! Instead of a “funny” or “weird” feeling in her belly, why not fluttering? Or something that doesn’t bring to mind the sounds ones insides make after having Taco Bell?

    And another thing, she was on a balcony – with an Edward who seemed to be able to be behind her, in front of her and pressing into her all at the same freaking time – which implies apartment building, at least two stories if not a high rise (And how does a non-working Bella who flounces around drawing pictures of long rectangles all day long pay for said high rise apartment? But, I digress.) and yet, he walks out the front door AND STRAIGHT TO HIS CAR!

    I pour over floor plans, apartment styles, neighborhoods for accuracy, and this person is just making this crap up as her funny feeling stomach chooses to regurgitate it!

    Okay… *deep breath in* … this little piece of joy made my head – and eyes – hurt. I’m going to go grab my half empty bottle of wine and the last of the chocolate cupcakes.

    Crap. Did they have to be chocolate?
    Never mind…

    • I love that *poop joke* was your favorite. I really enjoy building up and throwing in something that would normally not be funny except in the very specific context that I set up. They’re like painting the Mona Lisa for me.

  3. I grabbed on to Edward’s shoulders as I let go, screaming his name and rocking against him.

    “Holy fuck! That image is funny now that I’ve got diarrhea on my mind. Gross, but funny”

    Thank you. I have laughed ~and snorted~ a ridiculous amount over this section of your review. Oh the imagery! I have never read twilight, Twi-fanfic and only made it through the first half hour of the movie. However, I have read an embarrassing amount of true blood/Sookie stackhouse fanfic and I’m pretty sure I’ve read almost identical passages for Sookie/Bill, Sookie/Eric, Sookie/Alcide…

    Thanks for making diarrhea funny again.

  4. Reblogged this on fairy bites and commented:
    Does it bother you, when a tragic/horrific event is used as the backdrop for an otherwise terrible story? It bothers him, too…

  5. Pica convention!

    It’s also fascinating, when he’s on top, his dick is in her, pounding away, that their tongues battle for dominance. I’d say the statement’s already been made…

    I somehow missed this review. This story is terrible, in that it seems to have come from Boggle/Twilight Version, yet I can’t stop watching…on to the next chapter…

    • I like that boggle reference, that line would certainly have been easier to write than what I ended up going with. Then again, if I had thought of that we wouldn’t have Spaghetti-O’s and Pica conventions. So I guess everything turned out good anyway.

      Looking at the stats you weren’t the only one who missed this one when I posted it. If I had to guess it would be because the names were similar to the videos I had already posted and people didn’t notice that this was new.

  6. Pingback: The Fanfic Assassin

  7. I can’t believe I forgot to mention the Diarrhea.
    Funny, but nasty.
    And you can’t spell Diarrhea with out HEA ❤

  8. I feel like this story made you rage-ier than usual. I make up words. Deal with it 🙂

    Why didn’t I get my invite to the National Alphabet Spaghetti-O’s eating competition?

    “This is the same reason I see a lot of nasty reviews about how much of a whore an author is because her Bella wasn’t a virgin, or how they hate the story because the choices Bella makes aren’t things that they’d do themselves. It’s frankly pathetic to be so narrow-minded and self-centered that you can’t even imagine anyone but yourself as the main character of a story. Again, pathetic.” — I agree with this so much I would hug you, if it wasn’t for the creepy nose.

    I am actually surprised you didn’t like this Bella more considering her nose fetish.

    Another stellar review.

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